There are lots of things I want to talk about, but one article (by someone else) was so good, I decided it’s just time to get writing and share, especially as the “perfect” moment to sit down and write a more extensive newsletter doesn’t appear to be coming any time soon. It’s almost like perfectionism is unobtainable – who would have thought it?!

Today I’ll cover:

• The continuing rise of ADHD diagnosis rates
• Life is Messy
• A Bittersweet Farewell (Goodbye to a Coaching Client)

It’s all about complexity, interactions and, sometimes, unintended consequences.

The continuing rise of ADHD diagnosis

This article resonates with so many conversations I’ve been having within the ADHD community, as well as going beyond. It addresses the modern history of ADHD and the definition of “normal” over time. Michelle Bee also calls out the fact that rates of neurodivergence diagnosis continue to rise, especially at school. Something I, quite frankly, had put my head in the sand about because I couldn’t see the connection between that and knowing that ADHD is genetic. All is explained, as well as some suggestions going forward.

Deliberately not telling you more so you go and read it, even if it means you stop reading my newsletter! The Narrowing Door: Neurodiversity, Capitalism, and the Invention of the Abnormal Mind. Reading time is approx 20 minutes. If you find it insightful, as I think you will, do give it a thumbs up at the end to thank Michelle for her efforts.

Life is messy

Is this a mess, or something beautiful?

In line with the above article, my current mantra is “life is messy”. For instance, there is no start and no end. Everything is an after effect of something else. Often things interact with one another in some way shape or form – backwards and forwards, and backwards again to change the original in some way, shape or form. ADHD brains often live within these feedback loops more intensely.

This could be someone’s tone. That person speaks to you in a certain way, which you then respond to (positive or negative!), then they adapt when they next reply. It’s a continuous process, even without the inevitable outside factors not under our control.

Similarly with the effects of ADHD at work. It’s a combination of environment, work, home(what personal obligations are on our mind?), decisions that tech bros, politicians and platform designers take, as well as how much sleep we just happened to get. There is an ecosystem of interactions.

Worse, sometimes there are no “right answers”, with everything being a trade off between different groups – the classic work analogy being the person that enjoys a quiet space, v. someone that wants lots of noise and visual stimulation. One of the options is that people can work at home, but they then will lose out on some social interaction.Or that being bored is a useful thing for neurotypicals, but can be harmful for ADHDers, which to be honest I thought was just a case of me being “defective”(!)

Often I find that I have two opposing viewpoints simultaneously.Going back to Michelle’s article: globalisation and the educational and health benefits that has brought, v. the standardisation and removal of space for individuality and experimentation.

Currently, I’ve no easy answer, but even acknowledging these challenges helps me rest easier within myself. We need to acknowledge that there is an issue before we can address it.

How we manage and sit with these contradictions is the fascinating question, to my mind! And sometimes, even knowing that there isn’t a “perfect” answer is enough. It’s messy, but in writing this piece, I now realise that one of the outputs of messiness is creativity. And that’s rather important for us.*

*For decades I held the belief that I wasn’t a creative person. It was only in my thirties that I realised that my creativity is just expressed in different ways from most other people I had encountered.

A bittersweet farewell (goodbye to a coaching client)

When a client decides that they have had enough coaching, it is a bittersweet moment, another type of complexity if you will.

I have been with them for a number of months, got to know them and enjoyed chatting with them on a regular basis. I have seen them learn, grow and reach more of their potential, often unlocking doors and discovering areas that they hadn’t previously fully embraced or even realised they had, on occasion. Although we coaches whisper it, we’ve been invited into their lives.

But, like a parent (as I understand it), it’s important for a child to fly the nest. I can only facilitate certain types of growth. Coaching is not, and should not, be permanent.

With that in mind, one of my clients recently finished their coaching. They had actually taken a break for a month for a family commitment, and then they realised that they were in a good place. This is their write up:

“Coaching helped me realise I already had the skills to manage my life better. It helped refresh my knowledge of what works and what isn’t so helpful for me.

I found the sessions difficult initially and was incredibly tired after. After a few months I found my rhythm and actually started to feel lighter and more in control of my emotions.”

Now that they have finished coaching, the other positive is that I have space in my calendar, so if you’re interested in discovering more, whether you are a cantor, operations manager, Salesforce Admin or CEO (all examples of current and former clients), then here’s the link to book an intro call.

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